you can’t build on it. It’s only good for wallowing in.” -Katherine Mansfield
The experience of regret – the feeling that a road not taken might have been the better one – is unavoidable given the myriad choices in our progressive times. In fact, we’re apt to find that risks not taken are a greater source of regret than mistakes or wrong turns. In either event, we can begin to accept regret and gather information and advice from it. We can learn to reframe situations – viewing them with different, healthier perspective. We can surrender the need to be right.
Remember that regret is normal and that – when dealt with honestly and appropriately – it can be a constructive force in shaping a meaningful life. So, rather than living under its debilitating shadow, it is most satisfying to convert the negative energy of regret into a positive force for making peace with the past and kindly applying its lessons to the present.
If, when regret hits, we begin to draw upon each and every resource that we have in order to conquer it, we will develop mental and spiritual muscle that will rescue us from the pit of remorse. We will, in fact, begin to welcome such opportunities for improvement just as Tallulah Bankhead suggested, “The only thing I regret about my past life is the length of it. If I had my past life to live over again I’d make all the same mistakes – only sooner.”