The fall can be a very poignant time with the closing of the warmth and freedoms of summer. It can also bring on remembrance of the innocence, hope and energy that accompanies the opening of another new year of learning.

For those of us long past matriculation, autumn often presents a natural time for a look-back at life and - for those of us more sensitive individuals - it can also touch the place of regret, sadness over perceived losses.  We can easily lose sight of the fact that we are living in the ‘university of life’ doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing in a way that is designed to help us learn the lessons we came here to learn.  

Oliver Wendell Holmes said,  “The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving.” 

So – our autumn education can still occur if we focus on our direction and realize that - if we want to live a fulfilling life with no regrets - we must live each day to its fullest.  So, how can we be sure we are doing this?    

We can ask – how are we strengthening our minds? What are we reading? Studying? Contemplating? Can we focus on fearing less - daring more?  (Trying to do just one thing every day that scares us helps us conquer fear and have new, enriching experiences each day.) Overall, how can we renew our determination to live with love, passion and forgiveness?

It is never too early to start thinking about what we’d like our personal legacy to be - how it will serve others and leave the world a better place.  Most of all, we must concentrate on being fully present in today -  savoring every moment as special and appreciating the beauty of life -  as it is only way to avoid preoccupation with either the past or future.  

Equally important is to let go of the small stuff. Trying not to overreact to the events of life or blow things out of proportion, hold on too tightly or focus on the negative aspects of life. Because it is those annoying little things in life that can immobilize us, drive us crazy or weigh us down.  

Rather than looking at autumn as a time of loss or regret, we can live it as the perfect time to lighten up and live with the understanding that what ever we shed in this season will leave room for a more healthy, happy, beautiful spring.  

So – no regrets – just live Walt Whitman’s Song of the Road

“From this hour

I ordain myself loos’d of limits and imaginary lines,

Going where I list, my own master total and absolute,

Listening to others, considering well what they say,

Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating,

Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of theHolds that would hold me.

I inhale great draughts of space,

The east and the west are mine, and the north and the south are mine.

I  am larger, better than I thought, I did not know I held so much goodness.

All seems beautiful to me. I can repeat over to men and women

You have done such good to me I would do the same to you,

I will recruit for myself and you as I go,

I will scatter myself among men and women as I go,

I will toss a new gladness and roughness among them.

Whoever denies me it shall not trouble me,

Whoever accepts me he or she shall be blessed and shall bless me.

Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons,

It is to grow in the open air and to eat and sleep with the earth.”

There’s definitely a positive aspect to facing worst case scenarios. For instance, before taking a risk either personal or professional, it’s smart to know what worst possible outcome  might occur as a way of measuring what the risk is worth.  Thoughtful business people do this all the time as one factor in their assessment process. But when we find ourselves living in those worse case scenarios as if they’ve already happened, we’re in trouble. 

I’ve heard it called ‘awful-izing’ which perfectly describes the practice of living in anticipation of the worst as a perceived way of provding self-protection. Or, as a hedge against disappointment and rejection.  As a life habit, this is a dangerous self-fulfilling mechanism. Most of us now realize that our thoughts influence - if not outright determine - our reality. Which means each time we assume the worst and live as if it might take place, we all but ensure a bad outcome. 

This process of ‘awful-izing’ amounts to either a very bad habit, a misguided protective device or inability to be convinced of the power of our beliefs and attitudes to create unintended consequences.  In short, imagining the worst case scenario is almost ensuring its passage.  As Mark Twain put it, “I’ve have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”  Silly, destructive, unnecessary or cruel - call it what you will - it’s one habit that’s really important to GIVE UP!

We all know it’s good to exercise.  Watch our diet. Keep our thoughts positive. Meditate.  So why don’t we regularly do these life-improving things?

Because we are human. And we operate on the self-defeating premise that unless we do things perfectly or all the time, it’s - well - why bother? So, we do nothing. And, that’s where we really hurt ourselves.

We don’t have to exercise as if we’re preparing for the Olympics.  Or eat like we’re applying for a Paris runway (God forbid!).  And, we don’t have to aspire to Dalai Lama-like serenity.  But we do need to drop the ‘why bother?’ excuse and do something that resembles self-care. 

It’s never too late to start walking. Stop eating dessert. Sit down for just five minutes with all the noise turned off.  Those seemingly small acts can add up to seismic shifts.  It’s just like Nike says - JUST DO IT.

Yes.  That IS David Archuleta of American Idol. And if you really want to be in the moment, he’ll get you there and make you want to stay there:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q26vROvKeFw 

“Driving through the city for the first time, you and me
Staring through windows and my own reflection
How can no window encompass perfection

Now that I know what it’s like to be living
This beautiful world and never stop giving
I can’t return to a life with no vision
Born into eyes not by my own decision

(and) I wanna be in this moment,
No one can take it from me
(and) I wanna stay in this moment,
No one can take it away from me

Give me a chance and I’ll show you what’s real
Open your eyes and you’ll see
Then I’m stuck in a moment and no one can take it from me

I wanna be in this moment,
No one can take it from me
I wanna stay in this moment,
No one can take it away from me.”

Sigmund Freud defined denial as a defense mechanism in which a person faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept insists that it is not true despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. No one better typifies denial than Desperate Housewives’ Gabrielle Solice. Characertization aside, whoever scripts her part KNOWS about denial.  Nothing sticks to this girl.  Nothing is her fault.   And,she has absolutely no desire (or ability) to see it any other way. Maybe fun on TV but definitely not so in real life.

Merriman-Webster defines ‘resistance’ as the inherent ability of an organism to resist harmful influences.  Harmful.  Hm. That would make resistance a good thing. Yet, others say that what we resist persists.  Now that sounds really harmful. So, which is it? Perhaps both.

On the plus side, we certainly want to be resistant to illness.  To illicit temptations. To unwarrented risks.  It’s when we find ourselves resisting the doing of things that will help us, enhance us as individuals and contributors to society that things can get ugly.

In fact, there are countless good things that we resist:  change; learning; fully expressing our creativity; commitment; taking a stand on important matters.  Just a few examples where resistance can turn into massive procrastination or dangerous malaise. And, trying to fight resistance (no, this is not a redundancy) doesn’t work. Resistance produces negative strength.  So anything we are tyring to overcome is actually reinforced by our resistance to it.  What we really need to do is form opposition to what we don’t want in our lives rather than settle into resistance. 

Instead of hating war, love peace.  Instead of feeding fear, nourish freedom.  Instead of allowing resistance to obstruct our progress, our success, we define it as the enemy and place opposition in front of it.

  

Steve Jobs is a master of presentation.  His outlook is brilliant - “I love beautiful objects. I love creating them. Negative people upset me.” And, he seems totally effortless when he presents.  So what’s his biggest secret?  PRACTICE.  That’s right - Steve Jobs practices.

Frankly, it’s not one of my favorite things to do. In fact, much to my embarrassment, the only time I really rehearse is - well - when I’m at rehearsal! (The Master Chorale of South Florida).

And the price I pay for this stubborness is that I seldom deliver award-winning presentations. Oh, I’m good.  I can engage an audience and leave them with good stuff.  But ‘WOW’ them Steve Jobs style?  NO.

So you’ll notice a new goal on my list:  Be willing to practice. Next question you might have is what’s with the ‘be willing’ part?  I’ve learned over the years that sometimes we have to back up for a jump start. If I just said I’m going to practice but I knew in my heart I wasn’t yet willing, I’d wind up with a failed goal.  So - first - the willingness. And, I’ll let you know when I change it to PRACTICE!  Meanwhile - here’s a look at the kind of perfection Jobs delivers after he practices! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUeM6FBInfw

Sometime during this day, you’ll want to get in touch with what’s really important in life.  What really matters. What’s REAL. When that moment occurs, click on the below and visit the BBC Motion Gallery.  http://www.flashcomguru.com/apps/fullscreen_player9/fullscreen.html

It’s been barely six months since I had to put my little boy to rest. We spent almost seventeen years together and I can still remember the day I brought him home. I promised him a life of love, adventure, fun, undisturbed naps and - most of all - no suffering.

Already on that first day when he was just three months old, I dreaded the inevitable. It came all too fast. Our time flew by and - though he was a valiant warrior to the end - he told me when it was time to go.  And, I had to keep my promise.

I think he knew what a terrible gap he’d leave. How much I’d miss his mischief, his unconditional love, his warmth and companionship.  And, I do. Oh, I do. Every day. Every night. And, always in between. Can I possibly find another little guy to fill SugarFoote’s little paws?  Never.  Ever. Ever. And, I don’t know yet what I’ll do about that.